93 days in the NICU. Nearly 93 mornings that I have walked by this view and thought I should take a picture. The lighting is always just right and the natural earth tones starkly set against the concrete is a visual reminder of the tension between tender new life living in such a sterile and medical environment. These 93 days have brought us from Christmas to Lent and now (im)patiently awaiting Easter.
One of the (many) reasons I love the Catholic Church is the opportunity to engage with the liturgical calendar. Every season is meaningful and throughout the year there are repeated opportunities to practice patience and penance only to be rewarded with feasting and celebration. As humans we seek ways to keep track of time, often for the purpose of remembrance. Liturgical living does this on an even deeper level.
This year I am finding myself especially focused on Holy Week as we conclude Lent and look towards Easter on Sunday. Spy Wednesday (remembering when Judas betrays Jesus and reflecting on the times we have failed and have also betrayed Jesus), Maundy Thursday (when we remember the Last Supper: the institution of the priesthood, the mass, and the Eucharist – the alters are stripped, feet are washed, the Eucharist is removed, and we enter into three very intense holy days called the Paschal Triduum), Good Friday (reflecting on Jesus’ crucifixion and death), which finally brings us to Holy Saturday and the Easter Vigil. The mass starts in the darkness of Lent and by the end we are in the light of Easter. We have welcomed new Catholics through baptism and confirmation, Jesus has given us his body and blood, and Jesus has risen.
Lent is heavy, but there is light at the end of it. The darkness of winter is ushered out by the light of spring. And how much more sweet and warm is that light after enduring the last days of the darkness. I see Easter celebrations starting and I understand the temptation to hurry Lent up to celebrate. But, I pause. We must wait. The parallel of wanting Lent to end already and my impatience for discharge from the NICU is not lost on me. Now that we have a tentative timeline for discharge I just want to hurry up these last days so that day will finally come. But if we are deliberate and prepare for that Easter Feast it will be that much more sweet and deserving, won’t it? As will be the day that I trade urban cactus for the coastal oak trees of home.